No.

Well, okay...yes. I guess I am. You got me. Depending on the day you'll hear any number of responses to that question, including:

No, she's Mike.

Only on Tuesdays.

Not according to my mother. (There are no Archangels named, "Mike.")

Mike is ten feet tall, he can toss pizzas with both hands and feet simultaneously, and if he were here, he'd bake all these pies instantly with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse.

Yes.

Call Ahead.

We are often at capacity during peak hours, it's really a good idea to call ahead and let us know you're coming so we can save a seat for you.

Yes.

Just about everywhere in Chengdu. We will either deliver it ourselves, arrange a Dada (scooter delivery) or put it in a Didi (car).

Yes.

Sort of.

If we have to send the delivery with Dada or Didi you have to cover that cost. If we can deliver ourselves there is no charge.

Sure.

With the recent influx of food delivery companies we have found a workaround that has allowed us to extend our delivery range to areas that were previously unreachable in our current situation.

The way this works is you will call us and place the order, and then we will try to find an outside delivery service that will accept your order. They will charge a delivery fee and that fee will vary according to how far away you are and whether or not it's raining. There is no guarantee that we will find a delivery company to take your order, but results so far have been promising. We can also not guarantee the condition that your food arrives in, since these are not our employees, so we really need your honest feedback about the quality of these delivery companies so we know which ones to continue using in the future.

And of course, you can always hop in a cab and come visit us to pick up a pie.

Yes, just call us or contact us on WeChat.

Yes.

I really don't know how to answer that question. If you're looking for a general classification, you could say that what I make is loosely based on a hand-tossed New York style, with both West Coast and Neapolitan influences.

Ummm...

Pinnochio, Rumplestiltskin, or Pepperoni, Sausage and Mushrooms.

However, I am a fickle creature, and my favourite pizza is always the new one that I am working on right now, so it's not even on the menu yet. Or it's the one that I just added to the menu, so if you look at the most recent addition, that will be my current favourite.

No.

We operate at one speed, and that is the fastest speed that my ovens can handle. When we give you a time estimate it is always based on the number of pizzas in front of your order. If you ask uys to go faster you are either asking us to put your order in front of other human beings who ordered before you and are already waiting patiently for their pizza, or you are asking me to use some sort of wizardry that would allow me to break or bypass the laws of the physical realm in which we live. Both of these options are impossible, but the latter would be kind of awesome.

This is partly a cultural thing. I remember one of my first class dinners with 王老师, where she ordered our dishes and then asked the server if they could make them a bit faster. She then turned to us and explained that in China, it's okay to ask the restaurant to make your dishes faster.

It's not okay.

All orders will be made in the order that they are received.

No.

Sorry, force of habit. I kind of had a streak going there and I didn't want to break it.

I was born in Calgary. When I was 12 my family moved to Las Vegas, which is where they are now.

It was in Las Vegas that I worked for two Pizza Guys (The Pizza Guy and The Other Pizza Guy) from New York and started on my pizza path.

Hell yes.

And to those of you who tip, thank you so much. One of the amazing things that I have witnessed here is the amount of excitement generated by this alien concept of actually being rewarded for doing your job well. None of the people we hire go into this job with any idea of what it's really going to entail. They have to brave the elements on those little bikes or electric scooters, if it's hot they sweat, if it's cold they shiver and if it's raining they get wet. It's not like pizza delivery in the States where the guy gets to sit in a nice air-conditioned vehicle. They also have to be able to figure out addresses that are often wrong and communicate with customers in a language not their own.

A lot of the people we hire decide after a short time that this whole idea of "working" for money isn't all it's cracked up to be, but the ones that stick it out certainly deserve our respect and appreciation.

And speaking of generosity, whenever one of our employees feels like they have been extra lucky in the tip department, at the end of the night they go next door to HuHui and buy everyone ice cream. It's nice to see that circle of giving continue.

No.

I believe in producing a consistent, quality product at an affordable price without playing games to trick consumers into thinking they are getting a good deal. If a company can afford to sell their product for 1/2 price on Tuesday, then they could sell it for 1/2 price everyday and the rest of the time they are just ripping you off. Just my opinion.

We actually keep our margins a lot tighter than we should, according to common pricing practice in the restaurant industry. When you consider how expensive and difficult to obtain our raw materials are, (Good flour, Olive Oil, CHEESE...you get the point) and then compare our prices to our competitors who don't use the same quality of material, or the ones who do and charge double what we charge. My wife and I often joke that we are the worst business people in the world. However, the other side of it is I don't have a problem with work. I'm willing to make more pizzas to pay the rent and I also want normal human beings to be able to afford my pizzas. One of my favourite Tripadvisor reviews is a guy that mentions how happy he is that he can continue his Friday night pizza tradition with his family even though he's working in China now, and that really hit a chord with me because Friday night pizza was a tradition in my family as well. On a side note, the fact that I come from a family of seven children also explains why I am a world-class speed eater. He who eats fastest, gets the extra slice.

What were we talking about? Oh, right, specials. The only exception to that has been on two of the most important anniversaries in human history. The anniversary of the birth of the King of Rock and Roll, and the anniversary of the day He faked his untimely demise so that he could disappear from the public eye and live a normal existence in a trailer park outside Milwaukee. On those days, the King pizza has been known to fly off the shelves at a discounted rate.

First-born children.

And cash.

And Alipay.

And WeChat Wallet.

And Chinese bank cards for Dine-In.